this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
