Buhtt sex?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
did you just send me my own nude
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
