I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
