No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
