You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize