It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
