two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize