Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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