What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
