I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
