If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
