There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
