Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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