What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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