All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
