Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
