Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize