It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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