that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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