I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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