So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Randomize
