thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
