My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
