Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
