btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
