at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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