I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
