Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
