Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
