why didn't you poke me back
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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