this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
