I cockslap morals
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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