Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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