Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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