i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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