Your tits are I can't wait for
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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