so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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