Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
