I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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