did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
