I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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