I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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