My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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