I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
