So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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