haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
