alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
