She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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