my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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