Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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