ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
