i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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