See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
