This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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