But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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