I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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