I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Everything about him screamed your future.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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