I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
